around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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