a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
