at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize