No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
