I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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