3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
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Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
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