idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
