Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
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you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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