I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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