i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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