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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I need moral support for this bender
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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