God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize