ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
