Soap is not a condiment
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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