she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
