i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize