this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
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I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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