apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize