your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize