As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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