Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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