Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
