how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize