No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
