No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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