We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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