DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
