Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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