i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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