Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
