Is it because I queefed?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i think i just lost a toe
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
