i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
