never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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