he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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