I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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