by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize