Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
