apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
