State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
