Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
