i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
