I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake