she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains