A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?