i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
