You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
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She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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