She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
