Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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