You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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