my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i think i have two assholes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
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Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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