I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
