So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
