guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
