Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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