Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
