i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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