At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
